Devo 39: Walking with a Limp

So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."


But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

The man asked him, "What is your name?"

"Jacob," he answered.

Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."

But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.

Genesis 32:24-31 [Peniel-“face of God,” Israel-“he struggles with God”]

There is a tangible pain on my heart now. It is constant. I can always feel it. This Jacob is walking with a limp. It was not always there. It marks a struggle—a moment in time when a man wrestles with God.

Why does He let one wrestle? He could crush a man in an instant; yet for a lifetime, He lets him wrestle…struggle…fight…

It is the same reason a man takes his time breaking a horse. Good trainers never break the spirit of the horse by letting it fight to the point of giving up.

No. A good trainer takes his time. He lets the horse think it is the one doing all the work. Standing on the ground in a pen, he lets the horse come close, and then he chases it out again. He provokes the curiosity of the horse and then makes it run.

If the horse shows some spunk by kicking up its heals or throwing back its head, the trainer just stands his ground and chases the horse away faster. He pushes the horse until it finally gets curious about what the trainer really is. Who is he? What is He hiding that is so valuable that he is chasing me away?

Then, the horse begins to come back to the trainer. If he has the right attitude—one of submission and interest, then the trainer lets him come; if not, the trainer will continue to push the horse away until it gives the right response.

Maybe that was God’s way with Jacob. He gave Jacob just enough victory to continue the struggle so that he would wrestle for the blessing. Maybe it is His way with us. He lets us wrestle until we think we have the upper hand. He lets us experience some pain and struggle. He touches our hip, and we always remember the struggle. Yet, He never breaks our spirit. He always keeps that element of “What if?” at every turn.

Maybe it is ok to feel your heart constantly. It’s good to know it is there at least. Jacob could never forget the time he met God face to face—and had the audacity to wrestle with Him. He carried a limp as a constant reminder. Yet, he also carried a new name. He went from “Jacob” which means “deceiver” to “Israel,” “one who struggles with God.”

We do not have to understand God’s ways. They are so much higher than ours (Is. 55:8-9). Yet, we can cry out for understanding (Prov. 2, Eph. 1:17-19). We will not walk away from the fight untouched; yet, we can continue to wrestle. He is standing there with a mischievous grin saying, “Oh, boy! I hope I can win!”—all the while letting us think we have the upper hand.

He is gives us just enough of a taste of victory to intrigue our curiosity and finally get the voluntary heart response He desires. It is not manipulation though. It is leadership. He is the Good Shepherd (or trainer). He knows the best way for each one of us to go; He knows how to get us there. We have to trust Him and not getting bitter if we find ourselves limping a little. He knows the perfect balance to transform us from a deceiver to an overcomer.

Blessings,

Amanda
 
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