Devo 15: Hunger

Matthew 9:14-15

Then the disciples of John came to Him, saying, "Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?"

And Jesus said to them, "Can friends of the Bridegroom mourn as long as the Bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the Bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast."

There are some sermons you just remember. I remember it was March 2002, when I first heard a sermon from my pastor about this passage and it changed my life. He had been somewhere and heard this guy named Mike Bickle--I forgot both of those names instantly (and didn't remember them again until I was doing an internship under Mike Bickle)--but I didn't forget the sermon.

The sermon was simple. When the Bridegroom is with you, there is no need for fasting. When He is taken away, then you mourn for Him to return. I remember something in me just clicked. All the sudden, I got hungry for Him to return, and it made me want to fast. So, I decided to do the "Global Bridegroom Fast" for a year--just to give it a try (fasting the first Monday-Wednesday of every month).

So, I did it, and it was ok, but the following year was the worst one in my life. Every possible bad thing imaginable happened to me. So much for fasting! But I will tell you, that the Lord began to squeeze me into a place that the only way I could go was to absolutely surrender my entire life to Him. I won't go into all the details, but He created an insatiable hunger in me that I realized could only be filled with God.

During that season, I definitely felt like Jacob wrestling with God, but when I look back I see how He knew my desire to be with Him and He met me. He saw that I wanted to give my life to Him, and He made me so uncomfortable until I gave up.That's how hunger works. Being hungry is uncomfortable, but if you're never hungry, then you won't know you need to eat.

When I was little, I went to church and Christian school, but I told God one day, "God, I hate reading the Bible and I hate praying. I like You, but I don't like that other stuff. If you really want to know me, then give me the desire to do those things. Otherwise, I don't think you really want to know me."

So I began to pray everyday, "Lord, give me the desire to pray and read the Bible 'cause I really don't want to..." Well, a Bible degree, a 6 month internship of prayer and fasting, and a 2nd round of Bible college later--I have decided that I genuinely LOVE prayer, and I LOVE reading the Bible! But I'll tell ya, that didn't come from me.

You know what it came from? Praying that prayer as a ten year old, and everyday since. Now, I feel so hungry for God that sometimes I don't even think He can fill it, but of course, He can and that's the point. He says in Isaiah, "Come all who are thirsty...you who have no money, come, buy, and eat..." (Isaiah 55:1).

We fill our lives with so many other things sometimes, that we don't realize we're hungry--food, entertainment, recreation, "hanging out," etc. But, truly those things really don't satisfy. When we try to read our Bibles or pray, we are so bored and truly hate it.

Instead of trying to make ourselves do it out of condemnation, we have to pray that prayer I began to pray when I was ten. "Lord, if you really want to know me, then give me the desire (hunger)."

Add that prayer to fasting, and you have a deadly combination for spiritual hunger. I want to challenge you to make fasting a regular part of your life, and make this prayer a daily one. It is a deadly prayer, but don't be as hard-headed as me--just give in for crying out loud...He's God!!!

Lord, give us hunger. We long for you to return. We long for more of your presence. We will fast from some legitimate pleasures in life just so that we realize we are hungry for something more. Come and satisfy that hunger, God. Only You can fill it. Amen.

Love,

Amanda

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